Radical transparency. If in doubt, err on the side of being open about how you feel.
That doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk and say everything that you’re thinking. But, by being transparent and open with those around you, you’re better able to connect with them and build a relationship built on truth and understanding.
As with all posts in this impromptu series, I have no idea what I’m about to write until I actually start writing. Its interesting to see what you’ve been thinking about that maybe you didnt even know that you’ve been thinking about!
Word of caution though on being radically transparent, you should ALWAYS pair that with being open minded. No, being open minded doesn’t mean you’re weak it just means that you understand that you don’t know everything (newsflash, none of us do).
Being transparent and open minded allows you to learn and grow. It allows you to create bonds with people on a much deeper level than if you were closed minded and guarded.
Being transparent and open minded is the hallmark of any good relationship. Over the years my wife and I have learned the importance of being transparent with one other and that questioning each other ISN’T criticism.
Being open about how you feel and think can leave you feeling vulnerable. So vulnerable that any questioning of those feelings can put you into a state of fight or flight. Which is why you must remember that just because somebody is question you, it doesn’t mean that they are criticizing the way you think. Rather, they are trying to understand you on a deeper level.
We go through life so guarded that we fail to let others into our inner world. Those closest to you don’t know the real you because you haven’t allowed them to know the real you. Who’s fault is that?
Look, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty but I am trying to make you think. Do those closest to you know about your inner wants? Do they understand how and why you feel the way you do about things? If not, maybe it’s time to start being more transparent.
No, you shouldn’t just blurt out everything right now, rather, you should ease into it. Let those closest to you know that you want to be more transparent. Tell them that you don’t have all the answers but that you want them to better understand the reasons behind why you do what you do.
Give them the opportunity to question you about it and be patient with any misunderstandings. They are just trying to better understand you. How could that ever be a bad thing?
Once you start opening up so will others. They will start to feel more comfortable around you. Closer to you. They will start to be more transparent with you.
This will lead you to more meaningful conversations.
Of course, being transparent may push some people away from you and maybe that’s not such a bad thing? After all, we can’t get from point A to point Z without losing some people along the way.
Not everybody in our lives will stick around as we grow, many times its because they can’t keep up. They may even say that you have changed, when in fact it’s because you have grown.
They can either grow with you or you grow without them.
Be transparent. Be open minded. Be radically you.